The Wasserman Times

August 3, 2011

We are now in Boston, which explains how awesome we are. If you need a recap, we were in Michigan two days ago. I stole the computer away from Marc, which means I get to write about Niagara Falls.

Before that, however, I should tell you about our great trek to a campsite in the middle of nowhere. Our goal two nights ago was to get into Sudbury, Ontario, but the closest campsite was twelve miles west of it. Our atlas (which has not led us astray until now) showed us a short road leading to this provincial park. What we got instead was a winding twelve-mile roller-coaster piece of crap road leading to a very expensive campsite. We ended up paying $36 just to pass out. I kind of snapped at the guy taking our money, but he said that all Ontario provincial parks are at least this price. I am sure it is a nice place to go for a week with your family, but it is too much to pay for a campsite that doesn't have a hot tub.

The next day we went into Niagara Falls, Ontario, and stayed with a really nice family (with an adorable dog) we found in the BMW anonymous book. When we arrived, they had a whole barbeque dinner ready and invited us to join them. A widely known fact about my partner and I is that we will never turn down free food. Dinner was wonderful, and afterward they offered to drive us to the Falls on their way to their daughter's soccer game. A short note about their house is that it reminded me of Portland. It was one of those houses that looks like every aspect of it was a different art project. The dad is an engineer, which would explain all the cool play structures in the backyard built out of recycled materials. I want to build cool stuff like that for my kids someday. Anyway, we arrived at the Falls right around sunset, and everything was stunning. At night they shine giant colored or white lights onto the Falls, and all of the water glows. While I was trying to have a nice romantic moment with my man, my man was jumping from railing to railing trying to find a flat spot for his camera so he could take a good picture. He got his picture, but I didn't get my romantic moment.

This is not entirely Marc's fault, though. While Niagara falls is a majestic and natural wonder, the area surrounding it is a loud, flashing tourist trap. Walking back to the family's house (a long distance in the wrong direction) we saw endless arcades, wax museums, restaurants, bars, gift shops, hotels, and street performers. I will mention that at this point it was eleven o'clock at night, and everything was still open. I found it easier to get around in Las Vegas than in this area near Niagara Falls. Looking back at our photos, I realized we do not have any pictures of all the attractions, and I assume it is because Marc and I were so shocked and appalled by all of it. If you make a child choose between going to an arcade and watching water fall, which do you think they will pick? This is a good opportunity to plug the book Last Child in the Woods. It is very good.

What I was looking forward too the most was going on the Maid of the Mist, but we didn't do that. The only way to get to and from the Falls was to walk, and the next morning when we were going to take the boat ride, there was a torrential downpour. I know that a lot of you are going to say that we should have gone anyway, but then I would like to ask you when the last time you spent two hours in the rain was. It would not have been fun, and that is what I am sticking to. And besides, the chances of Jim Halpert marrying me while I was on board would be very small. If you do not get that reference, it is OK; it just means you are classier than I am. Long story short, we took the bridge back into America, and drove all day in the rain to get to Boston. Next we need to talk about Marc's relatives, which will take a whole other post.

So long for now,

Amelia